Don't Leave Me
This or any other way
I’m not sure in my heart of hearts what a Libertarian is. I know the Party stands for individual freedom, low or no taxes, and the right to smoke pot wherever they want. Sometimes I think they’re just a group of selfish stoned conservatives; at other times I think they must be for interracial marriage and no religion, too.
They’re also an irascible bunch, as was shown this past weekend when at some staged event they booed and shouted, and all that was before the Orange Blimp took the stage. When he did appear and started begging the collected individuals there to nominate him as their presidential candidate, the booing grew worse. And then when he suggested that, okay, if you aren’t going to nominate me, at least vote for me, the Libertarians shouted more and finally blew the Blimp off the stage. I’d say he floated on off, but that might mean he’s actually buoyant, and he isn’t. As blimps go, his kind of hot air is more like what happens after three straight meals of highly processed chili dogs — you know, the kind you might get from those carts out front of Lowe’s.
I’m proud of these Libertarians even if I pay my taxes and don’t worry much about it. I love supporting libraries and foundations of education, and as civil Liberties go, I do support the ACLU and Grounds and Hounds Coffee.
I wonder if the Libertarians played music as the OB came and went, or even at other times as they debated whether they are actually a party or just want to party? So, I’m going to take this chance to offer them a playlist should they want to reconvene, which I strongly encourage, just so we might get the chance of watching that national blowhard who overuses empty adjectives as liberally as any conservative wannabe can. I mean, “beautifully,” “Wonderful,” and “Great.” I mark these words on every student essay and demand satisfaction and individual thinking instead.
But in moments like these, the Libertarians are my heroes, though when it comes down to it, who are they really and who will they nominate or vote for? And let’s hope it’s not the one who thinks “Reich” is just another word for freedom.
Just asking for a friend.
ACP, week of 5/27/24
“The Man Who Would be King,” The Libertines from their 2004 self-titled LP. Cause we don’t know and we do know that he’s already floated the possibility of running for another term should he win in November. As The Pet Shop Boys once asked, “What have we done to deserve this?” Well, we probably did many things, like dare to nominate non-pasty white men for high office.
“Don’t Leave Me This Way,” The Communards, 1986, from another self-titled album. This is a cover of that great Disco hit by Thelma Houston way back in 1975 when things were simpler, I suppose. The appropriate and likely overused phrase isn’t so much “don’t leave me this way,’ but just “leave.” Or as ESPN’s legendary anchor Stuart Scott used to say when a batter was called out on strikes: “You don’t have to leave, but you you gotta get out of here.” If he does win, may we borrow a state helicopter from the Iranians?
“Calamity Song,” The Decemberists, from The King Is Dead (2011). “And you’ve receded into the loam, and they’re picking at your bones.” Oh, oh, oh. Is it too much to ask for? “Will we now build a civilization below ground?” It’s a thought, because just to get away from the crowd of sycophants crawling around the Manhattan courtroom, it might be libertarian of us to seek shelter elsewhere from this storm of orange spew.
“America,” Prince and the Revolution, from 1985’s Around the World in a Day. “Aristocrats on a mountain climb, Making money, losing time, Communism is just a word…” Remember that? We were so afraid of the word and the fear itself. Now, the name-calling resounds. Who’s the real fascist in our midst? I wonder if that convention last week spoke to this point as the once-and-forever blimp tried to explain his own balloon wisdom.
“Broken Toy,” Veiila, from the 2023 release, Sentimental Craving for Beauty. Sometimes I run across songs that arrest me from whatever crude acts I’ve been contemplating. So I’ll credit John DiLiberto for playing this last night on Echoes. The title of the song and the LP seem fitting. I’m accused of being sentimental often, but if that means I’m longing for the beauty of a former life, then sure, that’s me. My broken toys used to wait for me in the dirt-bottomed basement of our house. And I think they’re still waiting there, wondering, about me.
“Memorial Day,” Sharon Van Etten, from Remind Me Tomorrow (2019). I know it was a holiday yesterday, and so our idea of memorializing took another hit from that great bong in the sky. As I sat on my back porch drinking that All-American beer, Miller Lite (16 oz can), I projected the world as it could be. Then I got another beer and forgot all that.
“Mistakes,” Sharon Van Etten (again), from 2022’s We’ve Been Going About This All Wrong. Is it too late to turn back now? Can we avoid our mistakes now and tomorrow? Someone once said that if we hadn’t elected Obama, we wouldn’t have gotten the OB. Really? It makes sense in that white America just couldn’t take it and so we opted for the grossest kind of reckoning. Ok, but why are we still at it? Can’t we admit our errors of [in]competence?
“Candidate,” David Bowie from 1974’s incomparable Diamond Dogs. “I’ll make you a deal, like any other candidate.” How to unpack that line? The art of the blimp; Candidate Orange, the agent for toxic gas. On this same album is Bowie’s “1984,” which is totally shocking because Bowie recorded that song about the Age of Reagan in the Age of Nixon, and now here we are fifty or forty years later in the Age of Unreason and Unconsent.
“I Don’t Mind,” The Buzzcocks from Singles Going Steady (1979). It’s a statement of understanding that passes all peace — a platform for the uncommitted and uncommittable from a band that asked only that we take some time to think about what corporate rock was doing to us all. And of course it brings us round to the final question. “Reality’s just a dream.” And now the ?
“Why?” Bronski Beat from The Age of Consent (1984). Consent, right. There is no telling why, though when even the Libertarians are booing the charlatan of all charlatans, then let us consent to reason why and see if we can’t take a page from their book. After all, pot is slowly being granted greater license, and lord knows we’re about to need it wholesalely. “You and me together, fighting for our love”…or life.
That’s it, that’s all, though as the press rushes in, there’s another ststaemnt from the Pontiff, and maybe it will all be done next week, but say what you mean, mean what you say, and then head for the denials if nothing else works.